Mmmm… This hot dog looks delicious, you can have it! Want some coffee? ROTFLMAO!

There is a new virus: Code name is ‘work’.

If you receive ‘work’, from your colleagues, your boss, via email or anywhere else, do not open it under any circumstances!!

This virus wipes out your private life completely. If you should came into contact with this virus, put on your jacket and take two friends and go straight to the nearest pub. Order three beers and after repeating 14 times, you will find that ‘work’ has been completely deleted from your brain.

Forward this warning immediately to at least five friends. Should you realise that you do not have five friends, this means that you are already infected by this virus and ‘work’ already controls your whole life.

This virus is deadly. Please make every effort to stop it and prevent it spreading.

I’m going out for some beers before this deadly virus damages my system completely.

You wanna join me?

My family describes my job as ‘works with computer’ and call me handsome computer freak!

I feel frustrated when I hit the wrong key on the lift keypad and see that it has no “undo” key.

I see the postman on the street and always ‘hear’ he said ‘You’ve got mail!”

I say ‘SCROLL UP’ when my colleague asks what it was I said.

The only reason I recognise my cat is because its picture is on my computer screen (wallpaper).

That’s why my cat leaves me.

I say ‘he he he he’ or ‘ha ha ha’ instead of laughing.

I see something really funny and scream, ‘LOL, LOL!’ or ‘ROTFLMAO!’

I nearly forgotten my real name and will only answer to my login name.

I wish I have my Block Contact button handy when I meet someone annoying off-line.

I try to click ‘OK’ to exit the room and forgotten there is something called door handle.

I can’t tell the difference in between virtual and real sex.

I rather talk to my blog than my girl friends.

And… Comes to the worst…

I forget how to work the TV remote control… I double click my TV remote control!!!!

Her son, Jeremy is a typical four-year-old boy, cute and naughty. Out of the blue he asked his mum to explain what marriage was.

Although Jenny explained to him very clearly, the little boy found it hard to understand the concept. So Jenny decided to pull out her wedding photo album, thinking perhaps visual images would help.

One page after another, she pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the reception.

‘Do you understand now?’ She asked.

‘Yes, I think so,’ Jeremy answered.

Then Jeremy turned his face to his father and asked,
‘Is that when mum came to work for us?’

ROTFLMAO! :laugh:

Consul : What is your name?

Arab: Abu Aziz.

Consul: Sex?

Arab : Six to ten times a week.

Consul: I mean, male or female?

Arab : Both male and female and sometimes even camels.

Consul: Holy cow!

Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too!!!!

Consul: Man,……..isn’t it hostile?

Arab :Horse style, dog style, any style!

Consul: Oh……….dear!

Arab : Deer? No deer, they run too fast!

…

OMG!

:laugh:

Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, the princess. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what; metal, wood, stone, anything she touched would melt. Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.

The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter? He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, ‘If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured.’

The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king’s wealth.

Three young princes took up the challenge.

The first brought a sword of the finest steel.

But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted, and the prince went away sadly.

The second prince brought diamonds.

He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted. He too was sent away disappointed.

The third prince approached. He told the princess,

‘Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there.’

The princess did as she was told, though she turned red.

She felt something hard. She held it in her hand. And it did not melt!!!

The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed. And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.

Question: What was in the prince’s pants?

(Scroll down for the answer)

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M&M’s of course. They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

What were you thinking??

You think is…

ROTFLMAF! :laugh:

: Kimberly.

: What? You call her Camry!

: Huh? (In shock! Kimberly = Camry??)

: So funny name, hahaha…

: Hmmm… (What so funny huh?)

: Hahahaha…

: Your daughter is Sarah right?

: Yes.

: So, you call her SALAH punya huh?

: … :shame:

The moral of the real story, STOP MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE’S NAMES!

A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not in the morning
Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM

Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I’ll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I’ll also stay with your sister.

Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.

Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

Ah Beng : People consider me as a “GOD”
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again.

Ah Beng complained to the police: “Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house.”
Police: “How the thief did not take TV?”
Ah Beng : “I was watching TV news…”

Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
“My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610″

Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying “Parking Fine”
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole “Thanks for complement.”

How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases
the board.

Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says “Hello, how did you know I was here?”

Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man – This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng – If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

Teacher: “I killed a person” convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is “u will go to jail”

Ah Beng told his servant: “Go and water the plants!”
Servant: “It’s already raining.”
Ah Beng : “So what? Take an umbrella and go.”

I hope you have an enjoyable time reading all these nonsense. Trust me, laughter is an instant vacation. The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. Have a nice weekend! :dance:

They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Yeah, I knew I was evil! :devil:

:laugh: