: Kimberly.

: What? You call her Camry!

: Huh? (In shock! Kimberly = Camry??)

: So funny name, hahaha…

: Hmmm… (What so funny huh?)

: Hahahaha…

: Your daughter is Sarah right?

: Yes.

: So, you call her SALAH punya huh?

: … :shame:

The moral of the real story, STOP MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE’S NAMES!

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night? Jim Curry Carrey
2. What were you doing at 0800? In toilet, what else you can do?
3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Cursing on Tag (Just kidding!)
4. What happened to you in 2006? Made someone pregnant! (Trust me please!)
5. What was the last thing you said out loud? Where is my banana?!
6. How many beverages did you have today? 1, Shark fin soup (Choy!)
7. What color is your hairbrush? Never use
8. What was the last thing you paid for? Income Tax (In fact, don’t want to pay!)
9. Where were you last night? In my wet dream
10. What color is your front door? Stay on tree where got door
11. Where do you keep your change? Throw them away(so mah fang)
12. What’s the weather like today? You got no eye to see mah?
13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor? Banana (no doubt about it!)
14. What excites you? You shall ask what sexcite me (learn from master wuching)
15. Do you want to cut your hair? No! Have you ever seen a botak monkey?
16. Are you over the age of 25? I’m no longer 7 years old (2+5=7, right?)
17. Do you talk a lot? No, silence is gold
18. Do you watch the O.C.? What’s O.C.? I know M.C. only
19. Do you know anyone named Steven? You throw a stone can kill two birds dozens
20. Do you make up your own words? What the monkey you’re asking?
21. Are you a jealous person? Where to find jealous monkey?
22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’. Alamak
23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’. Kanasai
24. Who’s the first person on your received call list? Donkey
25. What does the last text message you received say? Fuckya (that fella sent to wrong person, phew~)
26. Do you chew on your straw? No, I eat it!
27. Do you have curly hair? Long time ago
28. Where’s the next place you’re going to? Going home (Band Gang)
29. Who’s the rudest person in your life? My Boss
30. What was the last thing you ate? Human (taste darn good)
31. Will you get married in the future? No
32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks? Monkey Evan Almighty
33. Is there anyone you like right now? I only like gal!
34. When was the last time you did the dishes? This morning in toilet
35. Are you currently depressed? Yup, who creates this meme, darn long!
36. Did you cry today? How to cry?
37. Why did you answer and post this? Cause you guys love monkey mah!
38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey. Clare (Where’re u now?), keeyit (I still owe you a tag! Coming soon!), Adino (You can do it next month! ) and wuching (Just like to tag you! )

OMG! Why you guys want to know what I was wearing and my accessories I had with me last night?

Okay, that’s the “little thingy” I wore!

Don’t laugh like that!

Yeah, I know, really “got no eye to see” (translate it to Cantonese)!

Shit! I learnt so many years just to wear it! At least better than Jay Chou, he still don’t wear one!

Besides, I had this with me too last night!

Banana? Why? Cannot meh? I always bring my banana with me everywhere I go. Without it I feel like missing some thing! Oh dear, what are you thinking of? That banana can eat one! Choi… you thought is…you dirty minded!

No more! What else you want to see? That’s my everything. I know I still have KKJ, but very sorry, that one can’t be “unclothed”! And not for you too! Hahaha…

See, I’m a very happy Borneo Monkey with banana.

Oops… I forget my underwear! But, who cares?

There are currently 202 posts and …

OMG, as a new monkey on the blog (could someone play the New Kids on the Block’s song for me, “Step by step” please) I can’t imagine that I wrote so much crappy posts to date.

It all started end of March this year, step by step, I learn to blog slowly. I learn about WordPress, a little bit of coding which still sounds Greek to me, hosting, improve my Engrish and I still learn them very hard (life long learning?).

Please forgive me, ever since I start to crap, I just couldn’t stop. Of course, I don’t usually blog during weekend due to “limited” internet access. Yes, I still live in a “cave” where Telekom can’t reach my place, shit!

I don’t know how you guys feel about my blog, maybe you could tell me. I know it could be just another blog online, a blog written by a funky (crazy perhaps) monkey who likes to make it simple and easy to understand. Less is more! Yeah right, sounds very childish. Cause I’m still young. Choi…Okay I confess I’m not that young, but wei , I’m not that old too!

Anyway, thanks to you guys out there, without your encouragements, supports and comments, I don’t think I can make it that far. To show my appreciation, let me show you my secret lover as requested by Janice:

Hehe… That’s my laptop wallpaper.

One good thing about blogging is making friends, a lot of online friends. One of my friends, BengBeng awarded me with this:

You guys spice up my life and of course my blog too. Thank you so much! *Muak* Thanks for loving monkey and monkey loves you too!

Okay, gonna stop before this post turns into rubbish. See you!

1. “Thank you for calling XXX, press 1 for English, 2 for…. (never ending shit options).”
Could you please reprogram it to sound like this? “….. press 1 for Leng Lui, 2 for Leng Chai, 3 for [ you fill yourself ] ……”

2. Why you bought those useless remote control helicopter toys again?
“Blardy Garmen” could spend nearly RM118 million for two helicopters that did not meet flying specifications last year, why I can’t. At least mine can “fly”!

3. How can you remain silence all day long?
Okay, I’m not sampat like you. I don’t talk rubbish, don’t you understand?

4. What so interesting about Blog?

No worries, I’m not making love with “her”.

5. Why don’t you like dog?
Comon, I love dogs but not those who “transform themselves” to lick boss’s face and “balls” type!

6. How can you always look busy?
Dammit, you’re the one who pass all the shit jobs to me. What the monkey I still have time to wag the tail like you everywhere.

7. Why your laptop don’t have mouse?
Wat? Say it again. Well, laptop comes with touchpad. You can plug in extra mouse if you want to. No no no, not this kind of mouse and not the Mickey mouse either!

(Who the monkey I talk to? Shit! *FAINTED*)

8. Why your…
Stop it, stop asking anymore,..

But, I just wanna say you forget to zip “your home”.

Aiya, my KKJ nearly escapes! Sorry ar!

Wakakaka…..

Here I go …

Where is your cell phone?
~ Factory (My dream hp not out yet wor!)

Relationship?
~ Yes (What relationship ar?)

Your hair?
~ Botak (Don’t believe? Never mind.)

Work?
~ Yes (No working eats what?)

Your sister?
~ 0 (Haiya, brothers got many lah!)

Your favorite thing?
~ Girl (Oops, sorry, girl is not a thing!)

Your dream last night?
~ Money (No money dreams money lor!)

Your favorite drink?
~ Water (You drink petrol hay?)

Your dream car?
~ Kancil (Easy to park mah!)

The room you’re in?
~ Cubicle (That’s where I work.)

Your shoes?
~ Shoeless (Monkey where got wear shoe one!)

Your fears?
~ Human (Refer my Ghost friend post!)

What do you want to be in 10 years?
~ King (To rule the Monkey Nation.)

Who did you hang out with this weekend?
~ Myself (So lonely can die!)

What are you not good at?
~Talking (Dunno how to talk!)

One of your wish list items?
~ Money (Who don’t love money!)

Where you grew up?
~Borneo (In the jungle!)

Last thing you did?
~ Breathe (Last breath?)

Your pet?
~ Donkey (Check sideway, phew~ she’s not here.)

Your computer?
~ Sucks (In fact is the internet connection sucks!)

Your life?
~ Funky (Funky monkey life?!)

Your mood?
~ Playful (If not, how to do this tag?)

What are you thinking about right now?
~ Eat (So hungry, forget to take my breakfast.)

Your car?
~ BMX (I wish I have BMW instead of BMX.)

Your kitchen?
~ No (Stay on tree where got house, not to mention about kitchen!)

Your summer?
~ Everyday (Tropical country cpeh hot eh!)

Your favorite color?
~ Black (Typical monkey color.)

Last time you laughed?
~ Now (Still laughing….)

Last time you cried?
~ Forgot (Why need to cry? Life is great!)

School?
~ XXX (Dammit, more than 5, which one to write?)

What are you wearing?
~ Underwear (U dun wear underwear meh?)

What aren’t you wearing?
~ Banana (U try to wear n c!)

Love?
~ Blogging (No blogging can die, read here!)

1. A person is only as good as … a monkey!

2. Friendship is always … free to grab from Monkey Wong.

3. To love is to … love monkey Wong first.

4. Money makes me … a rich monkey! $$$$

5. I miss … monkey kindergarten.

6. My way of saying I care is by … monkey hug.

7. I try to spread love and happiness by … monkey comics.

8. Pick the flowers when …… those are not belong to Monkey Wong.

9. To love someone is to … make her feel the power of monkey orgasm ” -____- ” ???

10. Beauty is … perfect match for Monkey Wong (Beauty and the beast, beast = monkey , something hard to define).

11. When I was thirteen, what I remember the most was … teacher said I was as naughty as monkey!

12. When I was twenty one, I remember … my ex girl friend said monkey is better than me, sigh…

13. I am most happy when … I find out that my mum is not a monkey.

14. Nothing makes me happier than … seeing my monkey brothers in the Melbourne Zoo.

15. If I can change one thing, I will change … donkey to monkey too.

16. If smiles are … something you’re looking for then … my monkey smile always right here waiting for you.

17. Wouldn’t it be nice if I could …… turn you into monkey as well.

18. If you want to … be rich … then you have to … do more monkey business!

19. Money is not everything but … monkeywong.com is the whole world! (For me at least! )

20. The most touching moments I have experienced is … everybody loves Monkey Wong.

21. I smile when … monkey see, monkey do.

22. When I am happy, I will belanja you bananas!

23. If only I don’t have to … work … then … I’m a happy monkey.

24. The best thing I did yesterday was … I donate all my bananas to charity!

25. If I ever write a book, I will give it this title.. love money, love Monkey Wong!

26. One thing I must do before I die is … to write my final post at monkeywong.com.

27. Doing this meme, I feel like … everybody wants to kill Monkey Wong because too many monkey thingy. Welcome to monkey world, have a nice day with monkeywong.com (monkey again!)

Mmm…never ever ask monkey to fill in the blanks because all you get will be the monkey answers! Don’t know whether can call those the answers or not!

I won this award because I got big muscle arms! Once I punch your face, you will definitely find yourself fainted!! Wakakaka…. *Evil laugh*. Please don’t believe me, I’m just joking!!!!

What is this Power of Schmooze award?
You’re eligible for this award is due to your natural ability to converse casually, especially in order to gain an advantage or make a social connection. You effortlessly weave your way in and out of the blogosphere, leaving friendly trails and smiles, happily making new friends along the way. You don’t limit your visits to only the rich and successful, but spend some time to say hello to new blogs as well. You are the ones who engage others in meaningful conversations, refusing to let it end at a mere hello – all the while fostering a sense of closeness and friendship. All in all, you’re a Good schmoozer!!!

Can I exchange it with cash?
It’s not exchangeable with cash and no trophy either!

Upon receiving the award, MW spoke to the crowd to express his thanks.

It’s a great honour to receive this award from Janice, the rocking mum.
This day will be remembered as a milestone in the history of monkeywong.com in Blogosphere.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of you for your support towards monkeywong.com.
Big thanks to my daddy, my mummy, my wife, my manager, my producer…..

*Bang* (Someone starts to throw bananas to me!)
Wei, this is not The Academy Awards!
Kanasai, you think you’re receiving the best actor award ar?
Chooi, shut up you!

*Smack my head* !!
Paiseh lah, not everyday got chance to receive award, day dream for a while can not hay?

Okay, I shouldn’t keep this award to myself, allow me to present it to my following friends:

To my partner-in-crime, Mui Mui Clare who are currently back to her Ulu Ulu Mangolia (UUM) to continue her research on shit life in shit hole. Hope you will publish your finding on how to manage a risky kanasai life in kanasai hole with kanasai fellas soon!

To Princess Neshimaru, she’s not only good in graphic design, she’s good at throwing bananas to me as well. Nesh, I still prefer you throwing money to me, not one cent but USD please!

To Rachealliang, the super duper cool mum, thanks for leaving a lot of creative and funny comments, really enjoy reading them. Thank you! (I just wondering shall I link you here as you prefer to keep low profile nowadays. )

To Veron, the girl from the Head Hunting Land, please don’t hunt my head, very ugly head!

To DLG, a sweet daddy’s little girl who enjoy her life in refrigerator. Everybody likes her!

To Jerry Lee, a handsome guy with very big mouth, I mean in his cartoon! Lovely young man indeed!

To Alex Jong, a latest member of NMBC (no more bujang club)! Hey brother, enjoy your marriage life ar! Long time no update lor!

To Wuching, I really admire this fella, got a nature sense in humuor! Welcome back Wuching, you rock the blogosphere!

To Dani, my monkey brother, we both speak very heavy monkey accent, I suspect you’re my long lost monkey brother!

To Pisang, a good guy who strike freedom 115 and now become angel. If anybody want to eat pisang goreng, go and look for him!

Okay, done! So, enjoy your award and remember to pass it to others! This is a tag game after all.

First, look at my way of writing and expression, you shall know how Ang Kao (monkey) I’m, never ever think in logical way, full with stupid ideas, always mix up something with something that is not related at all. That’s why Donkey always laughs at me because until today I still can’t differentiate duckling and swan, not the same mer? After all still one type of chicken, not chicken? Oic, is bird.

As you know, I’m Blogis Virus and make you happy enough to suffer from Blogivitis Syndrome. But the truth is Blogis Virus also attacked by Flu virus this few days! I hate this virus because it makes me darn sick and look weird. My friends laugh at me and say I look like a Bear Cat, what’s that? What else, panda from China. (Since when monkey becomes panda, haiya, go and watch Transformer then you will understand lah)

I also love the sea, beach, coconut trees, swaying palms, sunset, girls….. But shit, I can’t swim, try to learn but still can’t, so never ever ask me who I will save if you throw my mum and wife into ocean! Call 911 lor!

I don’t like to eat fish, but I like sea cucumber soup because for me it’s vegetable, cucumber that grows in the sea! Don’t believe me? Go and ask your Bio Teacher! And do you ever see monkey eat fish? Mutant?

I’m not Cartoonist, but like to draw cartoon. That’s my way of expressing this ‘outside down’ world in sarcastic way. Hope my no so well drawn cartoons cheer you up! Let’s laugh together, muahahahaha…… hehe, as crazy as usual! Can not mer?

I love MSN but I only start to use it last month! Don’t you believe it! I sign up MSN just because I want to chat with my brother, Ray in Kampar, Perak. So, the talk-hyperactive Clare, I’m your victim or vice versa? Wakaka….. Anyone out there wants my MSN? ( Who want? )

Sometimes I never understand why Donkey always asks me: ‘Those girls beautiful, these girls beautiful too, do you regret to ‘choose’ me, you still love me? ‘ What? Choi….Of course I love you, beautiful or not beautiful still having the some ‘equipments’ (different in sizes maybe)! . What’s the big deal? I love you because you’re unique! (Shhh..I tell you ar, this answer my dad teaches me one!)

Seven ‘shit’ thingies about me already, next go to eleven.

After 7 not 8 mer?

??????

You don’t know I’m super duper good in math!

After 7 is of course 11, that’s why there are so many 7/11!

And, this post is called 7/11 about me!

So, what is the eleventh thingy?

??????

The End lah, what else you want?

Have a nice day!